She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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