fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
