My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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