careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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