I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
