Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My bed smells like the plague
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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