im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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