By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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