I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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