either way he was missing a nipple.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So squirting runs in the family.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
NoShamevember. You game?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
