....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
