haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize