Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I look better un-naked...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We are two peas in an std pod
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
