a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
