I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
