she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
