Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Mom said you looked used
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there