You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.