I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.