1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Werenâ€™t Attracted To
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK