porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?