lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize