i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize