My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize