what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize