he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
