After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
