garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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