Where did you get a picture of my penis
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
