He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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