my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
