she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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