I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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