Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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