new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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