I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
