shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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