WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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