I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
