I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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