The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
