walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize