Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
3pm strippers are depressing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
