Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
