Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
