fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
