I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
