Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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