There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
