Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
