oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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