Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Randomize
