Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
