Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
