Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is my gift to your gina
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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