I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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