whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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