butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
