it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
