My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
