O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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