id be glad to
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
