bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
